Thursday, January 05, 2012

Tate Story Preview

I have way more, but it's not finished yet and way too long. Let me know what you think of the beginning!

            “But why?” Tate said, exhausted.
            Nicole held her head as if she had a headache.  She sighed. “Tate, we don’t know why or how he found you.”
            “No!” He pounded his fist on the maple-wood table. More dust crowded the air, making Nicole cough. Tate shook his head with frustration. “I don’t get it! Someone must have summoned me here!”
            “Not necessarily, Tate.” Nicole said. “You should go home. Get some rest, the day hasn’t been easy for you…”
            “Where’s home Nicole? Huh? I don’t remember anything before Cole found me!” Tate jumped onto the table that was just about ready to brake from all the furious poundings. His eyes turned a blood-red color again, masking his usually sparkling blue eyes, his fingers fidgeting at his sides.
            All of a sudden he cringed with pain and lost balance, falling off the table. His eyes turned back to blue as he fell.
            Nicole jumped from her seat, gasping, as he fell onto the floor. “Tate! Are you-” She stopped when she saw a tall figure behind where Tate once stood; a metal rod in its hands.

3 comments:

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  2. Wow Tori that was really good! I wanted to read even more, it really grabbed my attention! Is there more because I would defiantly read it!
    ~Chloe

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  3. You should really finish this. It made me want to keep reading; I was disappointed when it ended. You had really good descriptions, and the dialogue kind of told the story.

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